Lean & Mean?

I don't know what all sparked this.

I started gym at the end of July/start of August (again) and have been training for a month pretty much relentlessly. I'm already more or less where I was November last year when I stopped training. Good stuff.

I had stopped smoking for about 5 days in March if I remember correctly, but caved in for some reason. I had been meaning to sign up to quitline so I can get those subsidized nicotine gums - and finally I got the gums on Thursday..

So without much thought or contemplating, I thought... hey, I got the gums...why don't I try it out!
That was Thursday 21st Aug.. at 5.20pm when I had my last fag, walking outside the Chinese vege shop so I could buy some apples before I hit the gym. That was it.. The gum seems to ease the craving a LITTLE bit. Remember I am used to smoking cigarettes with 12mg nicotine in it, now this gum has 2mg - I can barely feel it.

It was OK at the office today. But the Friday drink, damn. I had three beer....that was tough. But I hit the gym straight away to waste away (or burn) extra energy and stress. Then I had half a bottle of wine, which was a form of an award to me for not drinking 100 bottles of beer. By 11pm the craving hit soooo hard.. well not really, but I kind of wanted to give in.

So I went out to the car, thinking that I will have just one and get back to quitting. I did not find it. After a while, I remembered that I put my rollies in my coat.. So I dug that out. Now fully ready, I put the filter in my mouth and...when I was about to scramble for tobacco, mum came out of her room. As I don't like being seen making or smoking cigarettes, I promptly put them away. Thank God, literally..

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has done and does - comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives for ever."
1 John 2:15

Let's see...I am still not ... sure if I can be pulled through :(